Peace Be Unto You

March 7, 2024

From Pastor Joseph Wamack

Hello my MAC Church Family! I have a BIG question for you today. How is your home environment? Is it a nice place to live? Do you look forward to coming home at night?  Is there peace? Cooperation? Shared joys and sorrows? The sad part is, home is not a sanctuary or a haven of rest for everyone, but instead it might feel more like a prison or a desert or a madhouse. Home doesn’t feel right, it feels wrong.

I think when I got married, the aspect of marriage I overlooked the most and I find most other couples I have counseled do too, is they do not look at their mate’s family closely enough. This is sometimes called “the family of origin.” That person you are planning to marry comes with habits, patterns, in laws, siblings, assumptions, ways of communicating-all of it unspoken and all of it stored in the brain. It is there and it is not going anywhere! And they assume you want to do things just the same way they do.

My wife’s family is very cuddly and likes lots of togetherness. They are like teddy bears. If two relatives coming was good, then four coming must be twice as good. Everyone sleeping all over the floor was wonderful to them. “Let’s have twenty people go to the zoo together!” Yet they would come unprepared. If they showed up, we were supposed to feed them and assume everything was “on the house.” As a poor, humble pastor you can consider the toll this took on me L

My family is kind of distant, not very cuddly-well maybe if you consider skunks or porcupines cuddly. They stayed in hotels and came prepared to split the bill. They did not visit long or in large groups because they did not want to be a “burden.” Totally different. Seemed sensible and perfect to me!

My wife’s family never raised their voices, they “discussed” and remained calm. My family was loud yellers. Yelling was our way of communicating and when we stopped yelling that meant we were done-it was over-no hard feelings. Unless they decided to hold a grudge for 20-30 years. Grudges were handed down from parents to children to carry on.

What is the point? Your home life reflects you and those in your family. Look around, think about how you communicate (or don’t communicate). Is there laughter in the home? Are meals a gathering pleasure or individual microwave sessions? Do you go to bed feeling a part of something loving and caring? Or do you feel alone, regardless of if someone else is in the bed with you? Do you dread turning in the driveway at night and only feel relief when you leave in the morning? Or do you anticipate coming home to a safe healthy environment?

Jesus breathed-peace be unto you. The Holy Spirit brings the peace of Jesus to your home, but first He must being it to your individual heart. No one is perfect-growth is a lifelong adventure. But we can grow in our love and understanding of ourselves and family dynamics.

All of you are adults-as much as it depends on you, are you helping to make your home a blessing or a stressing? If you are in the “wrong house” what can you do to make it “right?”